We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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