she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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