dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
