this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Randomize
