Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
