I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
