u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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