A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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