There was a lot of him and a little penis
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
