Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
