Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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