come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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