Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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