Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
