HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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