where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
