So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize