It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
