We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
