i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
