Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
