I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
