Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
