Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
