So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
