I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
