gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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