I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
