If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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