If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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