We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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