I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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