You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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