If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Found the puke drawer
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
