We won't sleep together?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
