Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
