you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
