You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
