I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
