You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
