any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
