Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
