before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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