WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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