If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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