Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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