Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
