Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
