Kiss
Puke
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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