There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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