I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
