therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
