what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
