I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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