Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
