are you so shy because you have an std?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
