somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
