I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Randomize
