FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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