i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
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