i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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