Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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