OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
