How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
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