his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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