Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
