he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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