didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
